Its seems very hard to describe this feeling because it is a new feeling for me..i'll try to describe it ..
Its like I am in a room where there is no gravity, but untill now I have been tightly strapped in with a (all over the body-) safetybelt.
I think that the 'please keep your seatbelt fastened'- light has turned off, and we are off...its like I have been lifted out of the chair..floating around kinda of, and I am not sure how to steer myself now.
A lot, and I mean a lot of things that I have always been sure of have now changed, like the law of gravity.
No I don't mean that my actual body is now levetating...but it would not totally amaze me if that was actually possible, we just haven't mastered it yet...tháts how crazy this feels!
The past few nights my head - or my mind, or my brain..i'm not sure - was feeling like it was buzzing.
I knów 'buzzing' is a sound, but I do mean what I say..its like I was feeling that sound.
And since the brain will always try to make sense out of unsensible stuff, it gave me an image to go with it.
In the movies (Matrix, Stargate) you sometimes see a computer going haywire....you see all kinds of codes, numbers, letters just rushing by on the screen.
You know? They rush by só fast that its impossible to make sense of them...so you just sitt it out.
Thats what I was experiencing all night yesterday...wide awake untill 4.30 in the morning.
If you would twist my arm to give it a name, I would say it felt like a braindownload.
I described this feeling to my (extremely down to earth) partner, and what almost freaks me out..this morning he said he felt the same last night.
This 2012 is turning out to be quite the experience don't you think?
The changes are real, this movie The Matrix obviously was not at all just a story, it really kinda feels like we are stepping out of a world that was created by and for the masses (a reality prescribed and agreed upon) , and we are now learning ready to learn how to create our own matrix, our own world, our own reality.
Creating something new always goes hand in hand with abolishing the old, and that still creates discomfort and pain and sadness for some.
The new can not come in with the old paradigms still being in place...a new look on life can only fully be integrated when there is room..and for there to be room, we still need to clear out all the stuff that no longer serves us.
Letting go can be hard. Letting go of habits and beliefsystems is pissing people off, they feel criticised.
Letting go of old stuff, does that mean the old me isn't not good enough? In the middle of this endless process to accepting myself that I have been trough, you tell me to let go?
Ofcourse its not because you are not good enough, or because there is someting wrong with you...its just that it doesn't serve you anymore.
Why take luggage with you that you do not need?
Lets say you have the most awesome wonderfull warm wintercoat...the most beautifull coat you ever saw. Then you take a trip to a tropical island..would you take that coat with you? Ofcourse you would't! That does not say anything about that coat you see? Its still gorgeous...just not of any use to you there!
Relationships, a job, ideas and ideals...they can all be like that coat.
You can hang on to them..but maby, just maby you would travel more lightly if you just let go...
Love
Inge
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